BBspot


Archives
 
Top 11
Top 11 Things Geeks Would Do After Being Rescued from a Mine
Classics
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
The BBook of Geek
Recommended
Fark
Mental Floss
Geek Press
Wil Wheaton
Jonathan Coulton
I-Mockery
Jokes Gallery
Funny Pictures
More Links

Thursday, August 3 12:00 AM ET

Google Maps Unveils Thousands
Of Alien Crop Circles

By Ima Fish

Crop Circles
Just one of many areas in the US
filled with alien crop circles!

The Hidden Truth Blog - Hello fellow alien hunters! This blogger has uncovered an important chink in the alien conspiracy's armor! Through the use of Google's map service I was able to uncover thousands of alien crop circles throughout our country. While the mainstream media is ignoring this overwhelming evidence, one has to wonder how long they'll be able to keep up this charade after I've exposed it to the world.

Due to the lack of mainstream reporting on this issue, I decided to uncover the truth myself and personally visited one of the many circles. Using the coordinates provided by Google I had my mother drive me to a remote "farming" area in my state. Upon reaching the circle I was shocked at the brazen manner in which the aliens are operating: Completely out in the open and without any attempt to hide their activities!

Gigantic Mist Snake
The gigantic mist-snake!

Any person passing by could not miss the large snake-like misting apparatus used to make the circles. I was able to get close enough to take a sample of the mist it emitted and later had it analyzed. It was confirmed to be a chemical compound based on two parts hydrogen with one part oxygen. Based on what I remember from a college chemistry course I dropped out of, I would have to theorize that such a combination would be highly flammable. To put it simply, if this substance ever entered our water supply, I fear there would be no hope for our survival.This writer also came across numerous dark-skinned alien "humanoids" working throughout the circles. Unfortunately, their purpose and origin remain a mystery as they only spoke in an extremely fast alien language that I could not comprehend. I personally doubt that any earthling could ever understand a language spoken with such speed.

One of the alien humanoids. Notice the lack of tentacles and green skin, obviously they are attempting to approximate a human form.

I must also add that I was impressed with their devotion to hard work, as I could see numerous alien families throughout the circle working with a gusto and determination this writer's eyes have never before seen. While my children are plopped in front of the TV being indoctrinated with lies at my ex-wife's house, these alien children are learning the value of a hard day's work. Is it any wonder they are winning this invasion?

While this writer was able to escape from the alien crop circle unscathed, the reader should not take that as a sign of any benevolence on the part of the aliens. This writer saw several humans, easily identified by their normal skin color and casual attitude towards their work, walking around the circle carrying rifles. It's clear that the aliens had subverted those humans to act as a security force in case trouble ever arose. (Although, I'm a little perplexed as to why the guards were focusing their attention inside the circle at their alien bosses and not outside the circle where any trouble would have arose.)

A few of the subverted humans, who were quite friendly after I told them that I thought America would be better off without those dark-skinned aliens. Apparently their brainwashing was not yet complete as they seemed to agree with me.

Back in the safety of my own home, well, my parents' basement, I'm bothered by the fact that the aliens never even attempted to stop my investigation. It's quite obvious that the alien conspiracy is so entrenched that it no longer feels any need to hide itself from exposure. It's only a matter of time before our country is completely taken over and we become nothing more than gun-totting slaves to our hyper-intelligent, hard-working, fast-talking, dark-skinned alien invaders!

More Tech News

Recommend this Story to a Friend

 
 
Follow on Twitter Follow Us on Twitter
Facebook Fan Us on Facebook
Amazon Find the BBook

 

  Politics Contact FAQs
A
D

Copyright 1999-2008 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a satire news and comedy source and meant to be funny. If you are easily offended, gullible or don't have a sense of humor we suggest you go elsewhere.