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Things to Do if Your Laptop Battery Explodes
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| 11. |
Make your own replacement battery out of AA batteries and duct tape. |
| 10. |
Duck and cover. |
| 9. |
Keep pretending to use the computer so you don't have to help with chores around the house. |
| 8. |
Run down to the library to blog about it. |
| 7. |
Forbid laptops on planes. |
| 6. |
Visit prepareyourownlawsuit.com. |
| 5. |
Pour your Mountain Dew on your forehead to soothe the burn. |
| 4. |
Tell the security guys at the airport that there's a recall on those batteries for exploding like that. Hope they don't find the other bomb. |
| 3. |
Break out your Laptop Battery Explosion Survival Kit. Roast the included hot dogs. |
| 2. |
Sew your penis back on. |
| 1. |
Don't panic. Your towel can be used as a tourniquet to stop the bleeding from the severed femoral artery in your right leg and also be used with a snapping motion to keep the lawyers at bay whilst on your way to the emergency room. |
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