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Friday, September 8 12:00 AM EDT

I was considering getting a laptop but changed my mind when I noticed I was being watched.

I wanted to get the kids something special for each of their birthdays, so I bought domain names with their own name. All the .COMs were taken and I had to settle for .XXX. Anyway, Happy Brithday!

I installed a helium cooling system in my computer, but it made my voice sound funny when I used Skype.

I overclocked my printer and now it only prints every second word. That's ok, though, I just type every word twice.

The internet cafe wasn't very happy that I was burning CDs there and neither was the fire department.

If a 404 page is missing, how would you know?

I don't know why people put personal information on MySpace, but it makes it much easier for me to stalk them.

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