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Friday, September 29 12:00 AM EDT

I keep all my files on the desktop so they're handy. That way it's easy for me to quickly remove burrs or smooth rough edges.

It really makes me mad when airport security makes me take out my laptop and turn it on, but human-cyborg hybrids can go right on through without a hassle.

It may seem like a good idea, but never use the microwave oven as a substitute for when your heat goes out.

Getting kicked out of the scouts wasn't because I kept insisting the motto is "Live long and prosper", so much as it was the complaints about my "mind meld" techniques.

Sometimes I think that the internet is a bad idea, but then I realize I'm confusing it with murder.

A Space Bar is where Han shot Greedo.

Whenever women approach me in bars and nightclubs and ask me for my number I tell them

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