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Monday, October 2 12:00 AM ET

DVD Contest: Weird Al Vs. The Tick

By Brian Briggs

Thanks to every one for all the great entries for this contest which you can find here. It was difficult to select a winner. However, after much deliberation we did come up with the two prize-winning entries. Without further ado, the winners...

First Place Winner from Chuck M (who selected The Tick DVDs):

The TickIt was an ordinary morning for Wierd Al. He was sitting at the kitchen table with his Norelco, shaving kiwis for the fruit salad, when there was a knock at the door. As he rose to answer it, the door burst inward, and there stood our blue-clad, muscle-bound two-dimensional, over-hyphenated hero, The TICK!

"Hello, Mr. Yano.... Mr Yerk... Mr....    Hi Al!", said the Tick.

"YOU again!  I TOLD you you're not invited!"

Weird Al brandished the electric razor menacingly.

" About that, Al... It's just that... YAAARRRGGGHHHH!"

Tick, sensing the moment was right, pounced on Weird Al, grabbing him by the neck and applying a super-noogie.

Al, with a battle-hardened calm, switched on the razor and applied it to the Tick's eyes, instantly removing his eyelashes and the top two layers of his corneas. Now effectively blinded, the Tick backed away and struck again, this time attacking a damp Hawaiian shirt, drying in front of an open window.

As the Tick plunged sixteen stories into the swimming pool below, Al called out, "You're STILL not invited! Tell Arthur I'll see him at 6!"

And the second place winner from Matt Y. (who receives The Weird Al Show DVDs)

Weird AlThe Tick enters, flanked by American Maid and Arthur the bunny, er, moth. 

Al arrives with Harvey the Wonder Hamster and Stanley Spadowski in tow.

Sworn to reconcile all crimes against humanity in The City , The Tick must settle the score with Al in retribution for "UHF."

The Tick charges in screaming "SPOOOOOON!" to dole out some 'Mighty Blue Justice !'  The first attack is thwarted by reruns of Al TV .

"Dr. Demento has trained you well," he states.

"Eat it," quips Al.  “I’m gonna crack open a can of Alapalooza on your ass!”

American Maid does three unnecessary somersaults and chucks a stiletto at Stanley Spadowski .

He stumbles, then recovers to twirl his mop with the fury of a thousand Jedi masters just in time to deflect it.

Without notice, Harvey the Wonder Hamster goes Monty Python on Arthur’s jugular rendering him less alive then before.

When all seems lost, Al pulls from his pocket a shiny red button and presses it.  From nowhere, a horde of Asians run out of the supply closet yelling “ Supplies!” and a semi brandished with “The Polka Kings” blocks the exit.

Staplers and clarinets batter our once proud hero, The Tick.  But Al relents, and out of respect decides to finish this another day.

And an honorable mention (but no prize) goes to Solar Rhino for this entry:

In the real world, Weird Al would win.  Though both are imaginary, Weird Al is marginally less so.  As such, he could force his human doppelganger to wield his vast earthly influence, and shut the Tick out of every medium: comics books, animation, live-action... Hey!

But if there were some dimension where 'toons and accordion players were real, then the Tick would clean Weird Al's clock.  Not literally, because that's not Hero Work, chum!, but figuratively, which is what counts.  And not because of the Tick's great strength.  Weird Al could easily negate this by making Tick dance.  Also not because of Tick's physical invulnerability.  Weird Al would not attack him physically.

No, the Tick would win because he is invulnerablest to parody, and parody is Weird Al's only weapon!  After just a few hours, Weird Al's accordion wouldn't be the only thing wheezing.  A day or two at most, and Weird Al would be dead.  Drained.  Parody-pooped.

Thus, the Tick would win.  Of course, it would be a pyrrhic victory, for Arthur would be killed in the first minutes of Weird Al's opening salvos.

Thanks again to everyone for their entries. It was fun, hopefully I'll get some more DVDs I don't want to keep and we can have another contest real soon!

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