BBspot


Archives
 
BBlog
Happy Thanksgiving and a BBeliever Daily Links - 11/10/11 Daily Links - 11/2/11
BBloopers
Fun at Sea
Football Fans
Great College
Top 11
Top 11 Things Geeks Would Do After Being Rescued from a Mine
PC Weenies
The Neverending Story
Gratuity Not Included
Uptime Downtime
Geek Horoscopes
Random Geek Horoscopes
Classics
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
The BBook of Geek
Recommended
Fark
[H]ard Folding Team
The Toque
Worth 1000
Joe the Peacock
PC Weenies
Mental Floss
Smashing Games
Free Codecs
SlushFactory
Geek Press
Wil Wheaton
Jonathan Coulton
I-Mockery
Um... Things
Jokes Gallery
Funny Pictures
More Links

Friday, November 3 12:00 AM ET

Trailer Review: The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause

By Brian Briggs

Reviewinator

Trailer Quicktime
Starring

Tim Allen
Martin Short

Director Michael Lembeck
Official Site Link
US Opening

November 3 , 2006

Rated G
Genre Unnecessary Sequel
Explosions 0
Weapons Shovel, feet, frost breath

Man Quotient

1.7

(Explosions + Weapons + Hot Babes - Kisses)/ Minutes

Voiceover Yes
Trailer
Déjà Vu
Santa Clause 2
Spoilage Factor 0%
Geek Factor 1%
See Trailer? No
See Movie? No

Money can make people do things they never dreamed they'd do. They'll kill. They'll sell their body. They'll make sequels. Money. How else can you explain the existence of Santa Clause 3.

I might get some arguments on this, but Tim Allen and Martin Short have been funny. They've done some good work… seriously. Stop laughing. OK, watch this trailer then, that'll stop your laughing.

The trailer opens with flashbacks to the first two movies. In flashback number one, we learn that Tim Allen became Santa Claus because the old one fell off his roof and died thus invoking the Santa Clause (get it!).

In flashback number two we take the pun even further. Santa Claus must get married because of the "Misses Clause." Does the pun ever stop even though you beg and plead like a victim of The Jigsaw Killer?

No, you do not appreciate life enough to avoid a third clause!

Oh no! My face has been frozen.

I was hoping for Santa Clause 3: The Bear Claws – Santa Versus the Crazed Kodiak, instead we get "The Escape Clause."

Martin Short brings all his over-the-top unacting skills to Jack Frost. After being accused of acting "willful and malicious," Frost replies, "Did you just call me skillful and delicious?" Sadly, that's as close as this trailer gets to being funny.

I know this is a G-rated movie, so it's targeted at a younger audience, but even four-year-olds are more sophisticated in their humor than this.

We learn that Jack wants to be Santa Claus. He's tired of playing second fiddle to the jolly old elf. He tricks Santa into activating the "escape clause," which appears to be a time-traveling snow globe.

Santa is much closer to
Satan than a mere anagram,

In this alternate past Jack kills the old Santa and becomes the new Santa. Can Tim Allen somehow alter this alternate reality and become Santa again? Will Donder work up the nerve to ask Vixen to the Reindeer Ball? Will Stinky the Elf conquer his drinking problem?

Nobody cares. It will have a happy ending. Jack Frost will comically die. Tim Allen will become Santa again and the kids will be happy all around the world.

Conclusion on Trailer: Yet another trailer that should only be watched to serve as a warning on why you shouldn't go see this movie. If you don't need that service, then save your bandwidth.

Conclusion on Movie: There are so many other worthy Christmas movies that you watch instead of this one; It's a Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story, Die Hard, just to name a few. Rent those, instead of encouraging Santa Clause 4. I beg you.

More Trailer Reviews

Recommend This Story to a Friend

Previous Story:

PWNED by God
Next Story:

Gateway

 
 
RSS Feed Subscribe
Follow on Twitter Follow Us on Twitter
Facebook Fan Us on Facebook
Google Buzz Follow Us on Buzz
Amazon Find the BBook

 

  Politics Contact FAQs
A
D

sharepoint survey web part - make money online

Copyright 1999-2008 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a satire news and comedy source and meant to be funny. If you are easily offended, gullible or don't have a sense of humor we suggest you go elsewhere.