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Wednesday, March 21 12:00 AM ET

BBspot Mailbag

Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just simply amazing.


BBelievers

Plenty of bands want their shot at stardom, and they're willing to contact the Sony Music Exec to get it...

Hi, I'm the chief executive for <snipped> International, id like to set up a walk-in meeting with you in regards of arranging a distribution deal with sony bmg.

reply back with an available time and date, and please send me your contact info.

And...

hi me and my freiend just started a band it's called black and white the resone it's called that because i am white and she is black so well we are and music band that sing 1 or two songs against rasisim and if we wanted a record deal what would we have to do?

You'd have to learn how to spell "racism" to begin with...

hey friend how are you good i hope hey i was wondering did you check out my music and / or my blogs also i was wondering would you like to come to a show I will be performing live at <snip> April 13 tickets are $12 at the door but are 10 if you are on my guest list my show starts at 11 Pm so if you would like to come please let me know so i can put you on my guest list

P.S. I am inviting everyone from myspace so fellas dress to impress and ladies if you looking for a man you will find one at my concert hope to see you there PEACE

Wow, he invited all the millions of people from MySpace? That's going to be a big show.

The Nigerian Billionaire did get some cries for help this week, but they were more sad than funny, so I won't be posting them.


The BBlog

I asked for suggestions about how to improve the BBlog. Here is one reader's take on what I should do...

From: Elijah
Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2007 2:08 AM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Re: BBlog

The main attraction of your blog is the horrific accidents you endure, of course. TBH, the only reason I check it every day is to see if you've finally had the "big one."

To attract more readers and satisfy the bloodlust of your current audience, I think you should indulge in a bit of shameless sensationalism. Deliberately get into increasingly bad accidents every week and post graphic pics for our amusement (and also so we know you aren't cheating and just making crap up.) The downside to this plan is that the accident has to get worse every week, otherwise people will lose interest. So you can only keep up up for a limited time before you are physically incapable of continuing... but your readership would likely double! It's a great idea imo.

Of course, there are easier ways to attract and retain readers.

What's your target demographic? Lonely internet geeks. With high speed internet connections. And widescreen monitors. Do I need to spell it out for you? Porn, of course! You could even make geek-porn. Firefox-on-mario action! I'd pay to see that. Your web traffic would increase exponentially.

Let's just hope for your sake that all your readers aren't as sick as I am.

Sincerely,

Your second biggest fan.

As attractive as those options are, I don't think I'll be using them.


Weekly Limerick

The winner of the 2003 and 2006 Geek Limerick contest has volunteered to write a weekly limerick for BBspot. I haven't decided where to put it yet, so this week's I'll put in the Mailbag...

From: Seth

Viacom has no morals or shame:
Sues YouTube for a billion in claims,
And ignores the small fact
That how Viacom acts
On its own site is mostly the same.


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