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Monday, April 2 12:00 AM ET

Google Using Subliminal Ads to Subdue Opposition to World Domination Plans

By Brian Briggs

Mountain View, CA – A recent discovery has exposed subliminal ads Google has been running to placate the masses into accepting Google world domination. Many people have wondered why there has been so little opposition to Google slowly taking over the world, but these ads have revealed part of their strategy.

With Google's expanding advertising empire the subliminal ads are run on the Internet, radio and TV. The ads flash messages like "Google is good," and "Accept Google and all your problems will disappear."  Research done at Google Labs has found the ads to be effective in taming the herd.

Countless people have reported waking up at Google Education Camps not knowing how they got there. Sara Jennings from Boston was one of those people.  She said, "One day I'm answering a message in Gmail and the next thing I know I wake up at a Google Education Camp.  Google is awesome.  You should try Google Docs."

The messages aren't just reaching regular Internet users. Microsoft and AT & T, who recently urged regulators to investigate Google, have withdrawn their complaints. Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft, said, "We must all accept Google as our benevolent leader.  Give them all your information and you will see the light."

A Google representative denied any sinister plot to rule the world, citing their "Don't be evil" motto.

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"You shouldn't make anything out of our buying several water treatment plants in major cities, or our research into brain deadening pharmaceuticals," said Elias Hornsby from Google.

"We're just giving users what they want.  Soon, as people will be able to freely come to one of our many Google offices and connect their brains into The Google.  They'll enter a world of peace and joy like they've never known before and they'll never want to disconnect," said Hornsby.  "It's all laid out in our user agreement."

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