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Monday, June 18 12:00 AM ET

BBspot Presents: Ask an FPS Gamer

By Ima Fish

Robert Zander asks:

I'm a high school senior, captain of the football team, and am considered good looking, I've banged every cheerleader at my school, every chick worth looking at, and even that hot new math teacher.  But I'm tired of constantly just sleeping with babes without any emotional commitment.  Basically, I'm ready for a steady relationship.  It's easy to get a hot young nubile chick to sleep with me, all I have to say is, "You wanna go to the backseat of my Mustang GT and do it?"  But asking a woman on a date is different.  I get all nervous thinking about what we'll talk about, where we'll go, and whether I'll be interesting enough.  Basically I want to know how to take these relationships to the next level.  Can you help?

ZanderFireBreath:

Generally when you want to get to the next level, you have to find a level end-boss to defeat. Usually they're easy to find, like a giant fire-breathing dragon or some spawn of Satan.  If you haven't found it yet, just keep running around killing everything in your path.

What makes this even more complicated is that some levels don't even have end-bosses, but some trick door or exit you have to find.  If you cannot find any large or dangerous creature to kill, you should try and find a different exit.  It could be something as simple as a door that needs a hidden key.  Or a hidden exit in a wall you have to merely touch.  I'd suggest you go around your school touching walls and looking for keys.  The keys are easy to find in that they usually glow.

Other times you have to perform some sort of task.  If there are any nuclear reactors, satellites to launch, or similar types of equipment around, turn them on or off, depending upon their present state.  Don't worry about knowing how to run the equipment, as the only buttons that work will be the exact buttons you'll need.

You might also want to ask yourself whether you really want to go to the next level.  Have you really fragged everything you needed to frag?  Have you found all the secret weapons and places?  Once you go on to the next level, you'll never be able to go back.  So make your choice wisely.

 

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