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Reasons You Won't Buy an iPhone
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| 11. |
Your current cell phone contract runs out in 2020 and has a $10,000 cancellation charge. |
| 10. |
You're still paying off your first iPod from three years ago. |
| 9. |
Strangely, you value "avoiding starvation" more than "looking cool." |
| 8. |
Already named your kid Iphone and it would make things too confusing at home. |
| 7. |
Refuse to purchase anything vaguely rectangular after bad experience with Fig Newtons. |
| 6. |
Believed the rumor that Steve Jobs was going to lick every single one. |
| 5. |
Waiting for 80's style boombox and brick phone to come back into fashion. |
| 4. |
Waiting for the kPhone to be released from KDE. |
| 3. |
As a child you were molested at a Mac Users Group. |
| 2. |
Already have a long enough penis. |
| 1. |
Never really understood the fascination with overpriced, proprietary Apple products. Plus, enjoy not being cool. |
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This one goes to 11.
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