When I bite into a York Pessimist Patty, I get the sensation of dying from exposure on a remote mountain top!

Einstein's theory of special relativity states that the speed of light is always constant, hence the phrase "what you see is what you get."

I set up a remote desktop, but it too hard to see the screen from here.

Red sky at night, sailor's delight. Red sky at morn, download some p0rn.

I made a special effort to watch the lunar eclipse, but just as it was about to happen, the moon disappeared from view.

I bought a new monitor. It's the Lite-Brite model by Hasbro. The refresh rate sucks.

It's all fun and games until someone loses an iPod.

My coworkers call me a "Twinkie." I think it's because I'm spongy outside with a creamy middle. Either that or it's because I'm always eating them.