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Tuesday, October 2 12:00 AM EDT

Signs You Shouldn't Buy That Toy For Your Child

11. Warning label reads "May Attract Bats."
10. The back of the box reads "Harmful if swallowed. Wearing gloves optional but recommended."
9. The "kung fu grip" is not gripping the enemy. If you know what I mean.
8. Your dog tried to hump it and got neutered.
7. Not only is the plushie shedding, it's also growing new hair.
6. The part of the box in contact with the toy appears to be dissolving.
5. Car battery not included.
4. The manual includes instructions for calling 911.
3. Everyone at the store refused to open it and show you how it works.
2. A warning label contains the words "if symptoms persist."
1. Doll not labeled as "life-like" but "lead-like."

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