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Tuesday, November 13 12:00 AM EDT

Geek Nightmares

11. Steve Ballmer is chasing you, and you keep slipping on AOL CDs and falling.
10. All your friends get superpowers, and you're forced to coordinate their world-saving activities on an Outlook Calendar for them.
9. You can win a date with a supermodel by reciting the words to Monty Python and the Holy grail, but you've forgotten them.
8. You're falling through the air and the gold coins are all out of reach.
7. You're in an advanced math class in college, but all the other students are English majors.
6. You wake up late for work and all your t-shirts are dirty and all your jeans have holes in them. Oh, wait, that actually happened.
5. The Surgeon General reports that excess caffeine consumption makes you more susceptible to headshots.
4. You open your mint-condition Spock action figure, but when you take it out of the box, it's Wesley Crusher..
3. You're naked in the server room, and all the computers are laughing at you.
2. You're a dyslexic zombie and can only eat Brians.
1. You finally get a job at Google, but discover you'll be forced to use Internet Explorer on dial-up on an iMac.


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