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Monday, December 17 12:00 AM EDT

Signs You're Getting Too Old to Party

11. You find the bar prices reasonable.
10. You chase business opportunities, not one-night stands.
9. The only song you recognize is the "Golden Oldie" the DJ played as a joke.
8. The chance of getting a full nights' sleep is preferable to getting drunk.
7. You hear *cough* narc *cough*, a lot.
6. The black-light really shows up the gray in your hair
5. That cute girl that's been eyeing you all night finally comes over and asks you if you're her friend's father
4. You keep asking if they can turn the music down.
3. You don't buy the cheapest pitcher of beer on the menu.
2. You ask the bartender if they have free wifi, so you can check in with work.
1. You head home early because you want to be able to get up in time to watch Meet the Press.

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