This year marks the fifth year of the BBspot Trailer Awards. We've yet to reach the level of respect of the Oscars, but we're much shorter. This year wasn't the greatest for trailers, nor the worst, so these trailers can proclaim they were the kings of a mediocre year...
Worst Trailer of the Year
Over the years I've seen a lot of horrid trailers. None this year can match the horror that was Deuce Bigalow, but a few tried...
The nominees are...
Wild Hogs - Here's what I said: "Who am I kidding? You know that this movie stinks. I know this movie stinks. The actors in the movie know it stinks. The studio knows it stinks. Yet they spend millions of dollars trying to persuade you it doesn't stink. When its competition is Norbit, it might have a chance."
Dead Silence - Here's what I said: "This trailer is laughably bad, so much so that it might be worth watching for its hilarity alone. This trailer should give hope to any budding filmmakers. If crap like this can get made, then anything has a chance."
Delta Farce - Here's what I said: "This trailer is excruciatingly painful. Only watch this if you want an explanation for what's wrong with America."
It was a tougher this year than most, but the winner (loser) is...
An anorexic man dress as a woman is neither appealing nor funny.
Worst Trailer for the Past Three Years
Deuce Bigalow European Gigolo - "This could be the worst trailer ever released for the worst movie ever created. It's painful to watch. It was endorsed by the National Bulimia Society for its vomit-inducing "comedy.""
I know, I know, I did this same joke last year, but come on, this trailer is that bad...
Deuce Bigalow European Gigolo
The horror still lingers.
Best Trailer With a Really Long Title
This year was the year of trailers with really long titles. This award honors those trailers who had the courage to have their titles truncated on marquees...
Aquateen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters - This title is the longest, but that's not what the award is for, so it'll have to win on the merits.
Pirates of the Caribbean At World's End - Great special effects and the sword fight synchronized to the music is excellent.
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer - What can I say? Jessica Alba can't act.
And the Spottie goes to...
Aquateen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters
The longest title and funny too.
Best Trailer of the Year
The nominees are...
300 - Violence, sex, more violence then some more violence. Based on a graphic novel and filled with the catchphrases of the year.
Spider-Man 3 - Another quality trailer from the Spider-Man franchise. The original was one of the best ever. Will this one repeat?
Live Free or Die Hard - You had me at the electric guitar version of "Ode to Joy." How could I not nominate this one?
The King of Kong - What happens when a trailer that needs to win, faces a trailer that refuses to lose?
This was the hardest decision in the five years of handing out this award. It came down to the epic battles and over-the-top violence of 300 against the 80s hair and arcade sounds of The King of Kong. In the end, the task of a trailer is to make you want to see the movie. In that respect, I think one of these has a slight edge and the Spottie for Best Trailer of the Year goes to...
The King of Kong
Billy accepts yet another award.