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Tuesday, February 5 12:00 AM EDT

Geeks Do When They Get Sick

By Grace Shaefer
11. A trip to the doctor (Doctor Who, Dr. McCoy, Dr. Strange, Dr. Demento...)
10. Keep loogies in vials for research.
9. Mix your green NyQuil with baking soda and vinegar for that mad scienist touch
8. Drink plenty of fluids besides Rockstar and coffee.
7. Use the reflective side of AOL discs to check your nose and throat for redness.
6. Convince your boss that your printed WebMD analysis along with Wikipedia research are legitimate substitutes for a doctor's note.
5. Runn antivirus programs with the USB cable hooked into your veins.
4. Marvel at how your sneezing sounds remarkably like "gen-TOO!"
3. Desperately try to score some Tretonin off the Pangarans.
2. Drink too much cough syrup and hallucinate that you've written SkyNet, the paperclip is asking what you want to do next, and then you get bluescreened.
1. Bugging all your internet friends because you're bedridden and have nothing better to do.

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