Feb 19 - Mar 20
The stars think you need to get of the cave every once in a while. That mammoth isn't going to kill itself.
Mar 21 - Apr 19
Maybe you should check out that black monolith again. It's got some good ideas.
Apr 20 - May 20
You will earn great wealth and respect for your work fixing the Y10K bug.
May 21 - June 21
Your new high-tech iPot will be the envy of all the gatherers in your tribe.
June 22 - July 22
Your new "Super Poke" with a stick will prove very effective in annoying everyone.
July 23 - Aug 22
The stars remind you not to run with sacrificial daggers.
Aug 23 - Sep 22
You might be the smartest man in the tribe, but the saber-toothed tiger only cares about how fast you can run.
Sep 23 - Oct 23
Get ready, your mom and dad will invite you over for dinner, but it's only a pretense to get you over to their cave to fix their wheel.
Oct 24 - Nov 21
Congratulations, you will be discovering a new number this week!
Nov 22 - Dec 21
The stars predict that you will once again be picked last by the captain to play "kick the human head of your enemies."
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Uggah, oogah, unh!
Jan 20 - Feb 18
Your attempts to create an on-line presence will succeed when several people notice you hanging from a line.