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Tuesday, July 29 12:00 AM EDT

Signs Steve Jobs Is Dead


11. Your ego feels like it has a bit more room to move around.
10. The Gap in Cupertino has a sale to get rid of the overstock on turtlenecks.
9. The Apple guy is wearing a black arm band in the commercials.
8. Bill Gates commits suicide (he always rips off original ideas from Apple)
7. Apple's stock price doesn't have any digits to the left of the decimal point.
6. His iPhone is forwarded to John Lasseter.
5. A sudden run on floral bouquets in the shape of an apple.
4. At the end of Strawberry Fields you can hear John Lennon say "I buried Jobs".
3. MacWorld keynote given by Noah Wylie..
2. All next-generation Apple products are square and beige.
1. All iPods only play "Nothing Compares 2 U" by Sinead O'Connor.

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