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Friday, August 15 12:00 AM EDT

Geek Horoscopes

 

Brought to you buy the red-shirted guy on the away team.

Leo
July 23 - Aug 22
The ship is nearing Gamma Trianguli VI. It might not be a bad time to get the "flu."

Virgo
Aug 23 - Sep 22
It never hurts to have a bottle of blue dye with you at all times.

Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 23
Despite the Captain's orders, the stars recommend you keep your phaser set on "kill".

Scorpio
Oct 24 - Nov 21
It's never a good idea to split up, even if you're with one of the bridge crew.

Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Good news: You're getting to go on your first away team with the Captain. Bad news: It's also your last.

Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19
The stars would suggest contacting your benefits representative with Starfleet to make sure you've designated a beneficiary on your life insurance option.

Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18
When planning an away mission, try and include more security officers to increase your chance of survival.

Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20
That fluorescent gaseous cloud may look friendly, but it's got something else in mind.

Aries
Mar 21 - Apr 19
The stars recommend keeping an open channel once you reach the planet surface, just in case.

Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20
Remember, only the captain or first officaer get to kiss the beautiful woman on the away mission without suffering life threatening consequences.

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
Remember the red shirt's survival motto: insubordination < death.

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
Make sure the ships doctor comes on the away mission and is carrying more than just a medical tricorder.

 

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