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Tuesday, August 5 12:00 AM EDT

Changes Geeks Would Make to the Summer Olympics

11. Turning in three gold medals gets you epic shoulders.
10. Well-hidden shortcuts on marathon track.
9. Separate archery categories for humans and elves.
8. Add some ones to the logo so it says something in binary.
7. Seven more digits on the 100 m dash timer
6. Olympic torch lighted by a highly complex Rube Goldberg machine.
5. Opening ceremony shows LARPers recreating the battle from 300.
4. Winner of gymnastics determined by roll of 20-sided die.
3. Make javelins shine like light sabers.
2. Mario Kart style weapons in all long distance races.
1. Athletes randomly tested for alien DNA after each competition, not just drugs.

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