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Tuesday, September 9 12:00 AM EDT

Reasons a Star Trek Marathon Is a Bad Idea


11. After sitting in front of the TV for 19 hours, your butt will look like a Klingon forehead.
10. Good luck explaining to kids that "This was for work; you can't have a movie marathon."
9. Hard to not dream up new titles for each movie that better reflect the movie itself. "Star Trek 5 AKA Fat Scotty Bumps his head."
8. You can receive a near lethal dose of Shatner.
7. You start to truly believe that Klingons bastards killed your son.
6. Flashbacks caused by seeing Seventh Heaven stars in #1 and #4 just too painful to bear.
5. Dangerous amounts of caffeine needed to stay awake for Enterprise flyby in Star Trek: The Motion Picture.
4. Confirms your suspicion that bolting an eyepatch to your skull would look totally cool.
3. Overwhelming urge to purchase the complete works of Shakespeare in the original Klingon from eBay.
2. Assimiliating your family much more difficult and painful than it looks on TV.
1. Start believing that time travel is an easy process that doesn't harm the fragile threads of history.

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