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Reasons I'm Qualified to Be Vice-President
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| 11. |
I live in Michigan which borders Canadian giving me experience in international relations. |
| 10. |
I'm fully versed in counter-terrorism strategy with my years of experience playing Counter-Strike. |
| 9. |
I believe in science. |
| 8. |
I've taken on big oil by riding my bike to the library. |
| 7. |
I run a corporation with a global reach giving me the needed executive experience. |
| 6. |
By watching every episode of Star Trek: The Original Series and many episodes of The Next Generation, I've mastered the various strategies of diplomacy. |
| 5. |
I'm married to an Iranian demonstrating my ability to bridge the gap between the two countries. |
| 4. |
Hours of time spent playing Team Fortress 2 gives me ample experience in the much needed "shotgun to the face" area. |
| 3. |
Unlike all the current candidates, I have spent a month in Iran. |
| 2. |
I could totally fool North Korea into believing that all Americans have superpowers. |
| 1. |
My ability to hurt myself would gain sympathy from other nations which we could use to rebuild America's standing in the world. |
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This one goes to 11.
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