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Friday, October 24 12:00 AM EDT

I started a MyGravity site and it warped MySpace and MyTime.

Physics is your friend, unless your parachute fails to open.

My girlfriend wants to take our relationship to the next level, but I can't beat the boss on this one.

I'm working on an alternative to gasoline. The high price is affecting my arsonist-for-hire business.

My ex-girlfriend said we need to put our differences behind us and start with a clean slate, so I broke into her apartment and formatted her hard drive.

I read an interesting article online today that stated most people get their news from the internet. I'm not sure I agree with that.

I took my laptop to the park, but I don't speak binary so we just sat there in awkward silence.

Well the divorce is final. She gets the little robosapiens and I get to keep the aibo.

I'm convinced my GPS hates me. It keeps telling me to turn when I'm on a bridge.

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