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Friday, January 16 12:00 AM ET

Trailer Review: Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

By Brian Briggs

Rise of the LycansIt's January, the time for studios to take out the trash, and put it in the theater.  This week, they put Underworld: The Rise of the Lichens next to the curb.  I'm sorry, that's Rise of the Lycans. Now the trailer makes a lot more sense.

I thought the studio was making an ironic comment about how this one should've been kept in the dark like other fungi, but I was mistaken.

The trailer opens with the always creepy Bill Nighy being even creepier than usual.  He's extolling the virtues of his warrior daughter, while acting like he wants to jump her bones.  Even for vampires, that's a bit too much.

His daughter is Sonja, played Doomsday star Rhona Mitra.  She can ride a horse and swing a sword. Oh, and she can also start an eternal war with the werewolves.

Not that Bill
I'm not going to pay a lot for that muffler!

Rise of the Lycans is a prequel to the previous Underworld movies, which were just begging for more back story.  Also, it gives the producers a convenient excuse to explain the absence of Kate Beckinsale, who starred in the previous two.  I can't believe she passed up this Oscar contender, but it's her loss.

In this story, the Lycans are slaves of the Vampires.  Mitra falls in love with the rebellious leader of the Lycans, Lucian.  He says the werewolves aren't animals. Well, technically he is.  I guess he is.    

Next we see the forbidden love affair and Lucian getting all uppity.  And now the trailer breaks into full-action-montage mode.  Slow motion kicks in the air.  Sword fights.  A gaggle of charging wolves.  Everything you'd expect from a low-budget movie. 

Reviewinator

Trailer Quicktime
Starring

Rhona Mitra
Bill Nighy

Director Patrick Tatopoulos
Official Site Link
US Opening

January 23, 2008

Rated R
Genre Vampire vs. Werewolf
Explosions 1
Weapons Sword, whip, knife, crossbow, teeth
Man Quotient

4.89

Trailer
Déjà Vu
The Eye
Geek Factor 25%
See Trailer? No
See Movie? No
Follow Up Pending

Fun with IMDb: From the director who was the creature designer on Battlefield Earth, and starring the man who played the "bulky robber" in the Sim City CD-ROM comes a movie from the distributor who brought you Teen Vamp.

Ending Prognostication: The father gets killed.  The werewolves are freed.  Rhona Mitra and Lucian's love affair ends tragically.  Romeo and Juliet anyone?

Conclusion on Trailer:  This trailer is dark and dreary to mask the low-budget special effects.  I like Bill Nighy, but he can't save this trailer.  The first two Underworlds were panned, so would you expect the third to be good?  I think not.

Conclusion on Movie:  With an R-rating, this one might be good for a cheap thrill, but it won't be worth the price of admission.  Avoid this like a vampire avoids the sun (unless you're in the Twilight universe, where they just get all sparkly). 

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