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Tuesday, April 28 12:00 AM EDT

Top 11 Geek Defenses for Swine Flu


11. Don't panic!
10. Stock up on ammo for the coming swine flu zombie apocalypse
9. Switch from Ham radio to FM
8. Increase caffeine intake so blood becomes poisonous to virus
7. Start wearing condom when humping pigs
6. Don't leave basement
5. Add cleric to party
4. Transfer consciousness to android body immune to human disease
3. Update virus profiles
2. Reencode DNA for immunity
1. Dose self with gamma radiation in hopes of developing mutant healing abilities

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