BBspot


Archives
 
Top 11
Top 11 Things Geeks Would Do After Being Rescued from a Mine
Classics
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
The BBook of Geek
Recommended
Fark
Mental Floss
Geek Press
Wil Wheaton
Jonathan Coulton
I-Mockery
Jokes Gallery
Funny Pictures
More Links

Thursday, June 11 12:00 AM ET

Microsoft Promises Continued Aggressive Rebranding of Search Engine

By Brian Briggs

 

Redmond, WA - At a press conference today Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer said the company would to continue its aggressive rebranding of its search products over the coming years.

"It started with MSN Search, then Live and now Bing, but we're not stopping there," said Ballmer.

With the yank of a pull cord, Ballmer unveiled the Microsoft's road map for search over the next five years. Next year, Bing will be renamed Boop. In 2011, Boop will give way to Searchellia and then in 2013 Bing Classic will carry the Microsoft search flag.

Ballmer said the company hopes to eventually confuse consumers enough that they'll "forget how to get to Google."

He refused to explain exactly how that would work, but assured reporters that it was possible before chasing them out of the room with the half-rotten carcass of a raccoon.

"This road map isn't set in stone," said Ballmer. "We've acquired thousands of domain names, which we can implement at any time. Don't be surprised if there are several Microsoft search brands being pushed concurrently, or if LiveXP7 jumps between Boop and Searchellia. We're that commited to finding a winner."

Many Microsoft marketing consultants think that aggressive rebranding is the only way for Microsoft to gain a competitive advantage over the market-dominating Google. "Eventually they'll have to come up with something that people like, but until then we'll collect a lot of consulting fees," said Michael Peacock of Accenture.

Related News

Ballmer Admits Vista Biggest Practical Joke He's Ever Pulled

Microsoft Getting Serious About Upgrading Users to Vista

Microsoft Abandons IE 8 Development for Firefox 3

In his weekly radio address broadcast from the gold-plated zeppelin hovering over Google headquarters in Mountain View, CEO Eric Schmidt said, "Muwa. Muwaha. Muwahaha."

Search engine analyst Roger Hu of SearchItWeekly.com said, "It's an interesting strategy that I doubt anyone will notice, but I give them +3 crazy points for trying."

Microsoft shares were down on the news.

Story Options:
Related
Share
Print

 
 
Follow on Twitter Follow Us on Twitter
Facebook Fan Us on Facebook
Amazon Find the BBook

 

  Politics Contact FAQs
A
D

Copyright 1999-2023 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a tech satire news and geek humor source, and meant to be funny.
If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor, we suggest you go elsewhere. Those without the geek gene activated should also avoid this site.