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Friday, July 17 12:00 AM EDT

It's easier to forage for mushrooms when you have the Super Mario Bros theme stuck in your head.

Today, I found a ring that makes me invisible. Unfortunately, it also gives everyone on the planet the "See Invisible" intrinsic effect.

Today, I was in the park, tweeting. The other birds told me to shut up.

I put Quantum State motor oil in my car and now I have to check every time to see if it's there before I start the car.

I scream. You scream. But in space no one can hear us scream for ice cream.

Even in the UK 1080p is not the same as 8 pounds.

I replaced my cell phone battery with mitochondria. Not all cells are the same.

If I were a zombie, I'd never have to worry about what I should eat for lunch.

What if the universe isn't expanding and we're just shrinking?

I believe stem cell research will result in better prisons for plants.

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