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Monday, September 28 12:00 AM ET

Letters to the Editor: The Zombie Issue

By Brian Briggs follow me on Twitter.

 

Last week, I published an editorial about the scourge of violence against zombies in video games in movies. Not surprisingly, an article on such a sensitive topic would get a strong reaction from people. Here are a few of the letters I received in response to my opinion.

Dear Zombie-Lover,

I know your site usually fake news story, but even if you're kidding about zombies I have to respond.  Your bogus article hits too close to home. It may be all a big joke to you, but I lost my kid brother, Timmy, to zombies back in '85.

I was 13, and he was 11.  Back in those days there wasn't all this PC crap about zombies being people.  People openly talked in public about how many zombies they had killed that day. 

We thought we'd have some funny playing some zombie-ball with the lurchers out by the factory.  Well, like stupid kids, we got in over our heads.  I was able to smash my way out of trouble, but Timmy had his brains eaten by those monsters.

I bet you've never seen zombies dining on a relative's gray matter, or you wouldn't joke like you do.

Disgusted in Detroit


Dear Brian,

I just want to thank you for your brave stance on violence against zombies.  I'm a zombie myself, and I live in fear every day of a sniper putting a bullet through my brain.  I wait for a crowd of people to cross the street, hoping it stops crazy humans from trying to run me over.

It's tough, but I can handle it.  I fear the most for my kids.  Ever since the integration of schools back in 1992, zombies have had to endure endless taunting and bullying at schools.  Not a day goes by when my son Kyle doesn't come home with a horror story about being teased mercilessly by the kids in his class.

He's been to 5 schools in 6 years, and only once did he eat someone's brain.  Should a child zombie really have to endure all this?

Once again thank you for your support of Zombie Nation.

Signed,

Lumbering in Lubbock


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Dear Pansy-ass

Zombies eat brains.  Humans have brains.  End of story.

I don't know WTF is wrong with you, but if you want to go live with the zombies, go right ahead.  Just don't tell me I can't kill them in video games, or watch them be killed in movies, or blow a few away after drinking on a Saturday night.

If God didn't want us killing zombies he wouldn't have given us trigger fingers. Rot in hell zombie-lover.

Pissed in Potomac

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