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Monday, October 5, 12:00 AM EDT

Signs Google Knows Too Much About You

11. Google Maps gives you directions before you enter the address you're going to.
10. Picasa deletes all the pictures of your girlfriend a week before you break up with her.
9. Your mom has been talking to a Google Chat bot impersonating you for a month, and never noticed.
8. Sergei Brin calls and offers condolences for the cancer you're going to have.
7. It puts "Angelina Jolie nude" in the search box before you can type it.
6. Your first dates know more about you than your mom.
5. Instead of showing up for job interviews, you tell prospective employers to Google you, and they're fine with that.
4. Google Voice has been calling and canceling meetings because they conflict with your schedule.
3. The feeding tube used while you're connected to the Google Collective has that minty flavor you love so much.
2. Google turns the TV off after you fall asleep on the couch.
1. Security doesn't have to scan your mandatory TSA forehead barcode tattoo to let you on the plane.

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