Tuesday, October 20, 12:00 AM EDT

Features Not Found in Windows 7

11. Blue Screen of Resurrection
10.  Classic Vista compatibility mode
9. Richard Stallman quote of the day on boot up
8. Minesweeper 2: This Time It's Personal
7. Personal apology from Bill Gates for Me, Vista and IE 6
6. Brad Pitt wife's head in every box.
5. Complete collection of "I'm a Mac" ads.
4. Setting up a botnet wizard
3. One of five golden tickets to tour the Microsoft compound in Redmond
2. Money back guarantee if not fully satisfied
1. Google Apps integration

Story Options:

This one goes to 11.

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