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Things I'd Rather Do Than Watch the New Twilight Movie
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| 11. |
Eat a breakfast of Frost Broken Glass Flakes drenched in sulphuric acid. |
| 10. |
Create a corn maze which reads "Twilight Sucks" when viewed from the air. |
| 9. |
Remove my fingernails with my Swiss Army Knife then reattach them with salted duct tape. |
| 8. |
Become a taste tester at Miller Brewing. |
| 7. |
Start an Internet rumor that Robert Pattinson has died, and they aren't going to finish the movies because of it. |
| 6. |
Let a real vampire show me what being a vampire is all about. |
| 5. |
Tell 4chan they suck then give them my home phone number and address. |
| 4. |
Dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades. |
| 3. |
Poke out my eyes to see if hidden regeneration ability makes them grow back. |
| 2. |
Change my WoW password to a randomly generated 64-character string, and not write it down. |
| 1. |
Drink decaf. |
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This one goes to 11.
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