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Tuesday, December 15, 12:00 AM EDT

Signs You Bought the Wrong Gift

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11. It was once owned by Paris Hilton.
10. Upon opening it rips a hole in the space-time continuum transporting your family to the planet where they make Slurm.
9. Even Tiger Woods feels sorry for you.
8. Stephenie Meyer endorses it.
7. The product name has the word "carcass " in it, and not in a good way.
6. After opening, it gets smashed in your face repeatedly, and that's not its intended purpose.
5. It's RIAA-approved.
4. Your kids ask to be put up for adoption.
3. The people on 4chan said it would be a great gift.
2. Every Geiger counter in a 10 mile radius begins to crackle.
1. You found it buried in an old Indian burial ground that's rumored to be cursed.

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