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Tuesday, January 26 12:00 AM EDT

Top 11 Unlikely Features of the Apple Tablet

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11. Biometric ass print scanner security system.
10. Free lifetime subscription to Farmer's Digest online edition.
9. Flotation device with water detection sensor.
8. Folds down into an iPhone.
7. Can be linked together to form a giant robot.
6. Backwards compatible with Newton software.
5. Buy one, get a Kindle free.
4. Clipboard on the back for taking notes.
3. Ability to sync with Windows Media Player.
2. Costs less than a non-Apple laptop.
1. Signed by U2 edition.

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