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Tuesday, February 9 12:00 AM EDT

Top 11 Features of HTML 5

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11. Deprecates support for Internet Explorer 6.
10. Variable rate <blink> tag.
9. Answers your email, walks your dog and makes your lunch.
8. <NSFW> tags.
7. Uses 20% less energy than Watt-guzzling HTML 4.
6. Only supports URL-shortened URLs.
5. Filters lame top 11 entries.
3. Enhanced support for people with disabilities by automatically correcting "its", "it's" and "your", "you're" mistakes on pages.
2. Opens up the other Internets to everyone.
1. Lays groundwork for machine takeover of world in HTML 6.

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