Tuesday, March 30 12:00 AM EDT

Top 11 Signs Your iPad Is Magical

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11. If you rub it, a Steve genie will appear and grant you three free apps that have been preselected for you.
10. It may not run flash, but it runs web technology that has not yet been invented, and as we all know, sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
9. It will magically make people want to talk to you.
8. It contains Pink Hearts, Orange Stars, Yellow Moons, Green Clovers, Blue Diamonds, and Purple Horseshoes. Sorry, that's a sign that it's Magically Delicious.
7. It gives you a +5 to charisma.
6. Engraves a Pentagram inside an Apple logo in your bedroom floor every night while you're sleeping.
5. It turns you into a newt.
4. Keeps telling you that you're the fairest of them all.
3. It keeps trying to get you to pick a card, any card.
2. It plays basketball for Orlando.
1. It comes with flying monkeys to do your bidding.

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