Top 11 Ways to Get Fired at Apple

11. Not bringing the required amount of Kindles for the Weekend Kindle Burning event.
10. Put gray duct tape on your iPhone 4 to fix the antenna problem.
9. Wear an Android shirt on casual Friday.
8. Forgetting to wear a turtleneck on Steve Jobs' birthday.
7. Leave an iPhone 4 prototype in a bar.
6. Have liver for lunch with Steve Job and ask him if he wants a piece.
5. Put "you're holding it wrong" stickers over the urinals in the men's room.
4. Like Steve Jobs is an arrogant prick on FB
3. Start a Twitter account without approval from the Communication Geniuses Department.
2. Use non-standard headphones for your iPod.
1. Suggest a mouse design that functions properly.

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