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Wednesday  October 11  10:05 PM EDT

News Briefs

By Brian Briggs

Microsoft Execs Win Nobel Prize in Monopolies

Redmond, WA - The Nobel Prize in monopolies Thursday went to two American business executives who crushed competition and thwarted anti-trust officials for yet Monopolyanother year.  Steve Ballmer and Bill Gates of Microsoft were commended for their efforts in stifling innovation and achieving unbelievable profits.

Gates and Ballmer refused the prize. Steve Ballmer said, "We don't know what those Swedes are talking about.  We're not a monopoly and we will appeal this decision."

Sun Goes Nova, Scientists Say, "Oops!"

SunEarth - The earth was obliterated today as the sun went nova billions of years before scientists predicted.   One leading astronomer said, "Oops."  She added, "If you take a look at the whole history of time we really weren't off by that much."

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