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Hollywood - In a stunning upset of Oscar favorite "American
Beauty", James "Mad Dog" Simpson won a record setting
55 Academy awards.
Interviewed in his home behind Food 4 Less, Mr. Simpson had this
to say, "I'd like to fank the 'cademy, Mr. Smith the
night manager and I wish that blue guy would stop yelling at me.
Arf, arf. Did I tell you about my cabbage?"
Taking Oscars for Best Actor, Best Director, Best Actress and Best
Supporting Actress among others, Mr. Simpson is a first time Oscar
winner and immediately passes Katherine Hepburn and Tom Hanks for
number of Oscars won in a lifetime. Though it was his first
year in Hollywood he also nabbed the honorary Cecile B. DeMille Lifetime
Achievement Award.
"I'm just stunned," Kevin Spacey said, "but
no one deserves it more than Mr. Simpson. It was an honor just
to be nominated in the same category as such a great man." Director
James Cameron asked, "Does this mean I'm not King of the World
any more?"
Mr. Simpson's next project is a long walk with his dog Scruffy.
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