Pretty sure Hell is worse than this: 27.27%
Outside chance Episode III could be good: 18.37%
Outside chance at getting Jessica Alba in the sack: 16.70%
Haven't mastered the twirling pencil on my fingers thing: 15.40%
Waiting for Microsoft to go bankrupt: 10.58%
No way I would get three whammies in a row: 6.31%
Still haven't ascended in Nethack: 5.01%
Don't want to deprive the world of my glorious presence.: 0.37%
