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OFF THE PACIFIC COAST - Flying in a sleek, two winged, jet propelled
analogy, President Bush landed safely on the deck of the aircraft
carrier USS Lincoln yesterday. The winged analogy, which flew from
an air base in San Diego, was never piloted by Bush, though he did “get
to play with the flight stick a little bit and press some buttons” according
to Cmdr. Tom Wilson, one of the three qualified people who actually
were in control during the entire flight.
President Bush flew to the Lincoln in order to inform the sailors – who
apparently do not have access to CNN – that the war in Iraq
is “darn close to finished.”
Under the cockpit window of the winged analogy, where the pilot’s
name usually goes, the text “George W. Bush. Commander in Chief,” was
stamped, though plainly Bush was not in charge.
This was the first instance of a President landing on an aircraft
carrier, quite a risky operation, according to naval aviators. Yet,
Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and Condoleezza rice had all given Bush
permission to fly in the analogy, which has a crew of four.
Speaking before the historic flight, White House spokesman Ari Fleischer
sought to assure Americans that while in the air, the President would
not be making decisions for which he is neither prepared, nor qualified, “Americans
can rest easy, it only looks like President Bush is in control, when
in fact he is not.” Fleischer said, then added. “I am,
of course, speaking only of the President’s flight.”
In addition to his speech last night, Bush also handed out decks
of the new WMD playing cards to the sailors, featuring ‘scratch-n-smell’ patches
of Sarin, VX and 53 other lethal agents.
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