Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without
the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing
because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of
the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just
After the past few weeks of Believers, I think it's becoming clearer
why you get so many Nigerian scammer spams in your Inbox...
Sent: Friday, November 07, 2003 1:30 AM
Subject: How do I contact him?
In reference to Esenam
I'd be happy to recieve a few million to start my own business
and buy a home and land. So how do I contact Esenam Ayele,I'd
be glad to have him share his millions with me.
Sent: Thursday, November 06, 2003 9:49 AM
Subject: millions to give away
Hello: My name is xxxxxx. While researching the Internet I came across This
Article about a Nigerian Man giving Away Millions. I am Saying, Is This
True, and If so How Can I contact This Gentleman. My Reason for Contacting
Philanthropy Companies or Individuals soThat I Can Start to a Community Center
in a under privileged neighborhood here in Detroit MI. Please let me know
how I can contact this gentleman so I can help him forfill his dream by sharing
his wealth with the world. Thank you very much Mr. Briggs and I hope to be
hearing from you very soon yours truly xxxxxx.
Keep trying and someday you will "forfill his dream"...
Now here is an example of why you shouldn't
use Google for all your research needs...
From: Jason Wallwork
Sent: Wednesday, November 05, 2003 5:07 PM
Subject: NewsForge | Underclocking: what's the rush?
Looks like Joe Barr is a believer. Check the second
paragraph where he quotes your article as a source for
underclocking which in another example of truth being stranger
than fiction actually is a fad ;-)
The easiest people to fool would have to be radio DJs. I shouldn't
have to explain why...
Sent: Monday, November 10, 2003 9:11 AM
I'm probably not the only person sending this, but thought
you might want to know. Driving in to work this morning, I
was listening to DC 101 and Elliot in the Morning mentioned
your article about TIVO offering
fast forward. One of the cast tried telling everyone it
was satire, but the rest of the crew thought it was real. Guess
we have some more believers
Today's article about tagging
and releasing viruses prompted a couple of complaint telephone
calls from Symantec, so we just switched to McAfee. Works either
way, and I'm more than willing to give them some pub...
Sent: Tuesday, November 11, 2003 4:35 PM
Subject: Fwd: another call from Symantec
Symantec would like you to pull the article. I told them
that I would pass along the message, but that I didn't have
any editorial input.
Also, you only changed the name once, its in the article
The New BBshop
I got the new BBshop with the new apparel open
for business, and just in time for your holiday shopping...
Sent: Monday, November 10, 2003 10:07 PM
Subject: Saw your online store parody
I saw your latest parody was posted today as an online store.
That's a pretty clever idea, although I bet you could probably
really sell some of those items. I especially liked the fact
you had your sister done up as little red riding hood. At least
I'm guessing that was maybe your sister. That certainly wasn't
your wife on account of no freaking way would any woman marry
a guy that dresses up in a blonde wig on the internet. At least
you had the tact to not have the pic link to a larger version
of that picture. Keep up the good work!
OK, let's clear up some misconceptions in that e-mail. First,
it is a real store and not a parody. Those items are all for
sale. Second, that's my wife not my sister. Third, I kept the
wigs a secret until after we were married.
Sent: Friday, November 07, 2003 10:52 AM
Subject: Lov the shirt
Just wanted to say that I just recieved the shirt that I
ordered and I love it (AMD Moron). We work on too many AMD's
to justify selling them. I read the BBspot daily, thought I'd
help with the world domination fund :P
V.P. of Sales
OK, so this is just a testimonial on BBspot merchandise,
but what better time to post it.
The Cat in
In my trailer review for The
Cat in the Hat I complained about its PG rating. A reader
has another take on it...
Sent: Friday, November 07, 2003 12:35 PM
Subject: The Cat In The Hat
Hey Mr. Briggs
Long-Time reader, first time emailer.
Just read the trailer review for Cat In The Hat, and noticed
the question, "How could the Cat in the Hat be rated PG?".
Well, I've never been a Seuss fan and in fact have always found
the Cat In The Hat to be enormously disturbing. Think about
the basic outline of the story.
Two young children are left unattended in their home. A stranger
arrives at the home uninvited and, against the will of the
children, begins to entice them into playing a number of odd
games, most of which involve his 'things'. The children repeatedly
state that the games in question make them feel very uncomfortable,
but the stranger persists. When the return of the (neglectful)
mother seems imminent, the stranger makes a hasty exit and
admonishes the children not to tell anyone of their secret
When I was growing up, I was taught to avoid such people.
If they depict things like this in the film, it should be R-Rated.
Or just banned.
Soda Pop Morality
Sent: Monday, November 03, 2003 2:18 AM
Subject: A legal alternative to water sharing
After reading "Coke
Educates on Morality of Drinking Tap Water", I would
like to inform BBspot readers about an alternative to water
sharing. This alternative allows fluid consumers to enjoy
a refreshing beverage without supporting the 'Colossus of
Atlanta', and without leaving them vulnerable to potential
lawsuits by the SDAA (Soft Drink Association of America).
Years ago, fluid consumers routinely enjoyed a group of beverages
known as 'Juice', which is available in many varieties, more
of which may be freely created by blending the original flavors.
Although these beverages have become less common in recent
years (most likely because of SDAA members' attempts to dominate
the market), they are becoming popular again, mostly due to
the creation of the 'Juice Box' about ten years ago.
Juice Box drinkers are quick to point out the advantages
of their chosen beverage: it contains just as much energy-giving
sugar and bacteria-fighting acid as soft drinks do, but also
contains substances called 'vitamins', which they claim have
some general health benefit. The SDAA counters the vitamin
claim by pointing out that Juice does not contain any caffeine,
with its memory-enhancement properties and... something else...
about staying awake...
The SDAA also claims that Juice Boxes are more difficult
to use. The user must not only open the container, but must
manually mount the user interface (called the 'straw'). Juice
users counter this argument by claiming that after drinking
Juice for any length of time, the vitamins will increase a
user's intelligence to the point where manually mounting the
straw will be no problem.
The SDAA does not currently see Juice as a threat to its
monopoly, but that is expected to change. Juice has recently
become available in soft drink-like containers, and has actually
been carbonated. As may have been expected, the latter move
has led the SDAA to threaten legal action against Juice for
unauthorized use of the carbonation process.
Unfortunately for the SDAA, its threats against Juice may
be its undoing, as the Southern Champagne Organization group
(SCO) has claimed to be the original owner of the carbonation
There are other alternatives. The supporters of 'Milk', for
example, claim that it has even more health benefits than Juice,
has a much more sophisticated user interface, and is so easy
to use that small children can figure it out, but its popularity
is hampered by its relative expense, and its incompatibility
with most other fluids. FreeBeer is extremely popular among
college students. When students leave college, however, and
are forced to pay for the full version of Beer, they tend to
lose interest, and become soft drink consumers.
That's all for this week!
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