Satire for Smart People
  About BBlog BBloopers BBoard BBspot's Book of Geek BBshop Archives
Poll: Chip of Choice

Features
The BBspot BBook
The BBook of Geek
Order your copy of the only geek humor book you'll ever need today!

BBlog

The Final Preteen Entry Daily Links - 11/18/08 The Whole World is Watching my Glo-stick Glow
BBloopers
Mystery Meat
Moped Power
Dead Men Can't Run
Top 11
Top 11 Ways Geeks Would Stimulate the Economy
PC Weenies
Customer Service
The Dark Side
Daily Backups
Geek Horoscopes
Random Geek Horoscopes
Classics
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
Games
Game:Pirate Race
Shrunken Heads
Funny Bubbles
RSS
BBlog XML/RSS feed
Add to Google
Add to My Yahoo!
Save This Page
Follow on Twitter
Recommended
Fark
Broken Newz
The Toque
Worth 1000
PC Weenies
Mental Floss
Smashing Games
Free Codecs
SlushFactory
Geek Press
I-Mockery
FreeWorldGroup
Geek of the Day
Um... Things
Jokes Gallery
Yo! Free Games
Funny Pictures
More Links

Monday, January 5 12:01 AM EST

Psychologists Discover Application-Induced Social Dysfunction

By Bruce Wood

Palo Alto, CA - Professors from the Stanford Department of Psychology reported the discovery of a new personality disorder: Application-induced Social Dysfunction.

Certain professions can warp the personality of people in those professions. For example, teachers who speak to adults as if they were students and police officers who treat family like criminals. What researchers are now realizing is that a high degree of exposure to certain software applications can cause similar dysfunctional effects.

"We first became aware of ASD through a young man who came to us in 2001 complaining about his roommate," said Professor Geoff Turner, "His roommate would enter his bedroom and begin talking. The two would converse normally. However, once the conversation had clearly finished, his roommate would persist in the room, showing no plan of leaving, and would have to be physically pushed out of the room."

"Over the course of the next few weeks, we found other similar behaviors. When shopping, he would often continue to stand in front of the register in the checkout line for several minutes after he had paid the cashier. We also saw at a party that he stayed long after all other guests had left and the hosts clearly wished him to leave."

"The breakthrough came for us when we were watching him use his PC," said Turner. "At first we were looking to see if the materials he was browsing online were perhaps having some harmful effect, but we could find nothing obviously harmful. It was when he clicked on the 'X' in the top right corner of the window to close AOL that we saw it. The window did not close as you would expect - instead, a further window popped up offering AOL's broadband service. We saw the facial muscles twitch, the jaw clench, heard the faint guttural sound of irritation - we knew we'd found our cause."

One clinical report in the study detailed the case of a 27-year-old male, known only as ‘B’. "B converses intelligently and is in clear possession of his motor skills," an extract reads. "However, when performing simple tasks such as waiting at a stop signal while driving, he is apt to fall silent and motionless for a long time. Often the light will turn green and back to red again with no visible motion on his part."

Related News

AOL Technica - the Internet Moron's Resource

Geek Overcomes Social Anxiety by Turning Life into an RPG

Top 11 Other Computer Terms Banned by Los Angeles

B puzzled us for the longest time," recalls researcher Marie Cobthorne. "We were sure it was ASD but we couldn't find any application that could be doing it - for the most part he was using Cygwin, though installed on Windows. It was only when he was done for the day and shutting his down his PC that I found the solution. I saw the words 'Saving your Settings' appear on his screen and hang there - it was incredible - B stopped talking midword and sat motionless for a full seven minutes."

"The good news is that usually the effects are reversible," Turner explained. "It is simply a matter of uninstalling the offending software and sticking to better written applications. Of course, Microsoft employees are not that lucky," he added.

Recommend This Story to a Friend

 

Previous Story:

Ways To Make Your Wireless Network More Secure
Next Story:

Merry Christmas


  Politics Contact FAQs
A
D

Yahootemplates Web Templates - Goverment Grants - bingo - PDF to Doc Converter - Panic Attack - Internet Eraser Software - DirectoryDump Web Directory
Private Krankenversicherung - Recover Deleted Files
Vending Machines - Plumbing Supply Reviews - Mortage Rate Deals

Copyright 1999-2008 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a tech satire news and geek humor source, and meant to be funny.
If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor, we suggest you go elsewhere. Those without the geek gene activated should also avoid this site.