Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without
the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing
because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of
the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just
This really isn't a Believer (I don't think so anyway), but she
certainly takes the article a bit too seriously...
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2004 12:11 PM
Subject: Shame on you!
This person needs to be fired for writing this
article. It is
truly scary that you thought nothing of letting him publish
this. Study history! Things like this have been done in the
past and there are people out there who don’t have the
moral fiber to even know that this is evil. Apparently neither
do either of you or you wouldn’t even have dreamed of
publishing such a thing! There is no humor in evil.
Au contraire, there is tons of funny in evil.
As a public service announcement for those BBspotters who don't
realize that shooting babies is evil, here:
"Shooting babies is a bad thing."
Who knows how many babies I just saved. I am a hero.
A couple of weeks ago contributing editor Nikolaj Borg took over
the personals mockeries for a couple days. Some readers weren't
Sent: Wednesday, January 21, 2004 10:32 AM
Subject: what the hell happened?
Who's the dude on the bbspot personal? He looks like my former
roommate. Fucking scared the shit out of me, bud. Can't you put
a warning label on it for people who haven't consumed their first
cup of coffee?
In the coming months there will be some more guest webcammers.
You have been warned.
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2004 12:01 AM
Subject: Anyone who goes by the term BooBooKittyFuk (one
of the personals ladies)...
Is probably a little more than okay with Sometimes Drugs, but
I thought for sure you would hit the black wig and lipstick on
this one. Nice catch on the black and white photo though. But
if you are going to parody a goth chick, got to have lots of
black on. Plus you can't have any backlighting effects going
on behind you, everyone knows a goth chick has not seen any light
brighter than a 40 watt since birth.
On second thought, you look too happy too. Next time, try gripping
a thumbtack hard in your hand while keeping a straight face.
Don't worry about tetnus either, as a goth chick, tetnus is your
badge of honor, especially if it starts to make your face lock
You have comedy gold here. Keep up the good work.
I have the thumbtacks purchased and at the ready for the
next goth personal that appears.
Sent: Friday, January 23, 2004 6:08 AM
Subject: Geek Horoscopes
I just read the new geek
horoscopes and, being a libra myself,
I couldn't resist commenting the part where "You'll finally
break Han Solo's record this week when you do the Kessel Run
in under 11 parsecs. Whatever the hell that means."
I am sure you'll get a lot of email about that (from other
geeks), but still... A quick Google search brought up several
1. Parsec is a unit of distance, not time
2. G. Lucas didn't know the above fact when writing Episode
4, so the phrase is technically correct even if it propably wasn't
intended to be.
3. from this posting
"The Kessel Run was a race wherein two starships were launched
in opposite directions in a rather dangerous part of space (Kessel)
that contained a lot of hazards, such as asteroids, black holes
and others. The point was for the contestant, in this case Han
Solo in the Millennium Falcon, to traverse the distance between
the two target starships in the quickest amount of time.
The faster the Falcon (or any contestant in the race) would traverse
the distance between the two star craft, the shorter the distance
between the star craft at the end of the ‘race.’ It
was this final distance, not the time that the contestant finished
the race in, that was used as the metric."
Considering the above, to be able to calculate either the
distance (or the
time) of the run, one would have to know the speed of both target
starships and the moment when the contestant begins the run.
This might require additional Google searches, but I don't think
I'll bother. Of course, a true geek would have known all that
without Google. I guess I'm still not quote there yet. :)
I'm not sure how not knowing something excuses you from being
wrong. It is really sad the lengths they have gone to cover
up this mistake, and the lengths some geeks have gone to fool
themselves into thinking it wasn't a mistake.
Sent: Thursday, January 29, 2004 10:21 AM
Subject: Read this and thought it could be a BBSpot story
Apparently NASA says that the problem with Spirit Rover might
be that it shipped without enough flash memory. Sounds like NASA
has been following the examples of the camera manufacturers
marketing admits flash memory shipped with Spirit Rover inadequate,
blaims recent hire from Canon"
That's all for this week!
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