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Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without
the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing
because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of
the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just
simply amazing.
Believers
The Nigerian billionaire
philanthropist gets some more...
From:
Sent: Monday, April 26, 2004 10:59 AM
To: 'To:'
Subject: Nigerian Billionaire?
My name is xxxxxx. I was curious about the story? Is the story
true or false. The money he has in his posession was it obtained
legally? If this man is truthful about his situation and is truly
trying to help others...please tell me how I can get in contact
with him. I can assure you the money will go to great causes.
Thank you very much. Also, please do not publish my name, email
for the world to see.
Just in case the two disclaimers on the page weren't enough,
I guess.
So exactly how could Paramount release a Star
Trek patch?
From: xxxxxx@aol.com
Sent: Monday, April 26, 2004 7:40 AM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: the patch
The star trek patch is not real, is it? Sounded
like a spoof to me...funny though. Although, I am curious. thanks
Those AOLers are the quick ones.
From: xxxxxx@charter.net]
Sent: Thursday, April 22, 2004 8:04 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: star trek SP1
I am wondering where star trek sp1 is located on paramounts
website. I can not find any information on thier website about
the article that you wrote on bbspot.
can you help me?
I sent him the appropriate link.
The posters over at the Shatner
board weren't too sure about
the Star Trek patch either.
This one was prompted by a really old story about how the RIAA
wanted to ban mirrors, because they stole
the soul of their artists...
From: xxxxxx@hotmail.com]
Sent: Friday, April 23, 2004 10:52 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: sorry to sound ignorant brian
I''ve been following every move the record industry has
been making since they first started their "campaign." I
am totally confused at this mirror thing. Whats the big deal
about mirrors? What do you mean by a "soul." What
could you do with a mirror at a concert?
What is a brain? What could you do with one in your head?
Future Writer
USA Runs Out Of Codenames
By Danny Aytekin
As fighting intensified in the Middle East and Afghanistan
last month, it emerged that the Pentagon had run out of scary
codenames for its operations.
"We had planned in detail a combined air and artillery
strike on a quiet hillside full of weeds," said General
Ryan H. Core, a soldier serving in Iraq, last week.
Research conducted by the War College has found that every
single permutation of aggressive words has now been used
up. The only permutations remaining are of words drawn from
themes
unrelated to successful military activity, such as the colloquialism
used on the 1980s San Francisco gay scene.
"As we retired towards the lounge to think of a new name,
we realised that there just wouldn’t be one, with or
without the word desert in.” The general was forced to
use some song lyrics by the popular singer Britney Spears.
“Hit me baby one more time,” concluded Gen. Core,
after it had appeared that the interview had finished.
Officers recruited from college have long complained that
many codenames chosen since the first Gulf War were passé.
The name of Operation Mountain Storm, which
took place recently on the border between Afghanistan and Pakistan,
had already been used more than forty different times, including
once by Noah.
Such reuse is now banned.
Army officials denied that simple overactivity was the reason
for the crisis, citing the trend of too many operation names
being allocated to too many wartime efforts.
In particular, a captain based in Basra became notorious by
insisting that his men’s nightly visits to their barracks’ pit
latrine be designated a military campaign, codenamed Operation
Toilet Storm.
Back in Iraq, Operation Argh My Leg, My Fricking
Leg was scheduled to start sometime on Tuesday.
That's all for this week!
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