BBspot
/About /Main /Help Us /Log /Advertise /FAQs
/Archives /BBloopers /Discussion /Contact /Archives /BBshop
Super Bowl Winner?
Archives
 
BBlog
Happy Thanksgiving and a BBeliever Daily Links - 11/10/11 Daily Links - 11/2/11
BBloopers
Fun at Sea
Football Fans
Great College
Top 11
Top 11 Things Geeks Would Do After Being Rescued from a Mine
PC Weenies
The Neverending Story
Gratuity Not Included
Uptime Downtime
Geek Horoscopes
Random Geek Horoscopes
Classics
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
The BBook of Geek
Recommended
Fark
[H]ard Folding Team
The Toque
Worth 1000
Joe the Peacock
PC Weenies
Mental Floss
Smashing Games
Free Codecs
SlushFactory
Geek Press
Wil Wheaton
Jonathan Coulton
I-Mockery
Um... Things
Jokes Gallery
Funny Pictures
More Links

Tuesday, October 26 12:00 AM ET

Bush Campaign to Highlight "Lighter Side" of War on Terror

By Adam Tan

Washington D.C. - In a bid to shore up the President's poll ratings in key battleground states, the Bush campaign is planning to put a "happy face" on the war on terror in the few remaining days before the election.

Wacky NeoconsAfter "thousands of hours" of focus group research, the administration discovered that "talking about an endless cycle of fear, violence, and repression put off some voters."

"We want to show people the war and terror can be entertaining, uplifting, and family-friendly," one administration official said.

A key element of the campaign will be "reframing" the images of several senior Bush administration officials, including Secretary of Homeland Security Tom Ridge and Attorney General John Ashcroft. "Let's face it," said an image consultant with the campaign. "Any time Tom Ridge speaks in public, it looks like he has some kind of severe rectal disorder." When asked about Ashcroft's image, the consultant rolled her eyes and said "Jesus, did he donate all his serotonin to charity, or what?"

The linchpin of the administration's new strategy is a series of planned television spots tentatively dubbed "America's Funniest Homeland Videos." The series of spots will show Americans "the lighter side of the war on terror" by featuring the "wacky antics of the Homeland's most lovable defenders," according to a press release. "You'll see John Ashcroft giving Donald Rumsfeld the 'hotfoot,' and witness Paul Wolfowitz' whoopee cushion artistry," the press release stated.

Insiders who have screened the first set of spots say some of them are "priceless." "When Ashcroft bitch-slapped Ridge during an argument over who got to raise the terror level to orange, everybody just roared," said a campaign strategist who saw a special early screening of the spots in the White House.

Related News

Iraq Liberated from Oppressive Statue Regime

RIAA Cracks Down After Taliban Ousted

France Demands Return of the Statue of Liberty

Experts are divided on whether the strategy will succeed. "Anything they can do to convince people that Rumsfeld isn't an alien invader from the galaxy M113 in Hercules is probably going to help them," said Dr. Edward Holiday, professor of culturally deficient studies at Southeastern Missouri State University. Others were not so sure.

"Giving any of these creeps more air time will help Kerry," said one consultant who is working for several Republican Congressional candidates. "They should just dump these assholes in Gitmo until the election's over."

More News

Recommend this Story to a Friend
Previous Story:

BBspot Mailbag
Next Story:

Shrunken Heads

 
 
RSS Feed Subscribe
Follow on Twitter Follow Us on Twitter
Facebook Fan Us on Facebook
Google Buzz Follow Us on Buzz
Amazon Find the BBook

 

  Politics Contact FAQs
A
D

sharepoint survey web part - make money online

Copyright 1999-2011 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a tech satire news and geek humor source, and meant to be funny.
If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor, we suggest you go elsewhere. Those without the geek gene activated should also avoid this site.