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Wednesday, January 5 12:00 AM ET

BBspot Mailbag

Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just simply amazing.


Believers

The old Metallica making a Napster-proof album was one of the first big stories on BBspot, thanks to it's front page link on Slashdot. Those were the days...

From: SNAUT
Sent: Wednesday, December 15, 2004 6:32 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Hello. It's about Metallica album "Download this"

Hello. I see your article about new album of Metallica " Download this" on bbspot.com .

But I can't find more information in Internet about this event... Also official press not wrote about this album.

I won't to know, was it true information or wasn't?

If it was true, were I can download this ?

I think you can help me.

Sanks for attention.

Didn't he read the story? The whole point that it was so bad nobody would want to download, yet still he wants too. <shakes head>

Another Valve Banning Steam Accounts Believer thread. This one is pretty darn good...

btw how do they know what weapons do we use? Is VALVe Spying on us?

And another one...

Idiots.

And one more for the road...

BTW i didnt get this: were the Bots, the AI, the NPC's complaining What the....?!?!

This one is hard to decipher. It's about Microsoft Purchasing Evil from Satan, and he's claiming that he wrote it first...

From: Martin
Sent: Friday, December 17, 2004 2:30 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Check your sources, you so-called journalist!

Microsoft purchased evil from Satan already in June of 2000, as is stated in my recap of these summer events in the article "Karsten worships Satan & gets a reply", originally published online where no-one cared.
Even though my original article is in Norwegian, I am confident that you are a spy who has somehow succeeded in learning our language, so you must have known! Why are you telling these lies? Satan dances breakdance, he doesn't write articles for small local newspapers. I write articles for a small local newspaper, does that make me Satan? No!

For clarification, my article was published in April of 2000, which makes it the definitive statement on this issue.

I think this is the first Believer for this article...

From: levan
Sent: Saturday, December 18, 2004 8:05 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Is this a joke?

http://www.bbspot.com/News/2001/02/black_linux.html

Is this a joke Brian? Or is it another manifestation of southern racial-charm (I see you are in Tenn.)?

I'm about as far away from Tennessee as a person can get.


New Employee

Here's a spam that I found funny. I think you will enjoy it too...

From: mrchen
Sent: Thursday, December 23, 2004 6:00 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Human Services Worker
Importance: Low

Human Services Worker
Seek the work

Nationality:China
Name:Mr. Chen
Age: 45 Year old
Sex:Male
Height;178 cms
Marital status: one
Educational background:University
Profession:Chinese language, finance, stock certificate, calculator Special features:Chinese language teacher, stock certificate investment adviser,Install the calculator, car the usage, public security, cooking , sweep, the child connects to send, nurse the person of advanced age, nurse the patient,Handicraft homework.
Request:There is food and have the housing.Monthly salary: 300 US$.
Request the post: Human Services Worker

Elucidation:
My English not good, but I am studying diligently, our letter is to pass the translation of, you mind?
If you employ me, please send to work permit, employment contract, invitation letter.

Very thankful!
Hope to reply!
Happy new year!
Mr. Chen

I think I should ask him for a copy of his CV.


The Matrix

Last Mailbag someone claimed that they came up with the idea for the Matrix and Terminator. Many readers wrote in to rebut this claim...

From: Mark
Sent: Wednesday, December 15, 2004 11:13 AM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Terminator idea was plagiarism?

Gosh, I'd hardly have guessed. Now, I have no idea who these weirdos are at "conscioushiphop" (an oxymoron if I ever heard one), or who the Hell Sophia Stewart is, but the original Terminator lawsuit is very old news. Harlan Ellison won, of course:

Why do the words "Inspired By The Works Of Harlan Ellison" appear in the end credits of the movie "The Terminator"?

http://www.islets.net/faq.html#Anchor-Why-47857

All Ellison wanted was an admission of responsibility and it took him years and hundreds of thousands of dollars to get it. In the end, the studio had to recall EVERY single film print and video tape and tag on the "Inspired By..." credit. The money that Harlan received was court costs which, as I said, were gargantuan. Never screw with Harlan.

According to an old Comics Journal interview, Harlan finally achieved victory when a fanzine editor contacted him with a tape and a transcript of an interview with James Cameron. Asked where he got the idea, Cameron freely admitted to having stolen it from a couple of old Outer Limits episodes which were then pinned down as having been written by Ellison. This evidence was presented long after considerable blood had been spilled and vast sums spent on litigation, but succeeded in wrapping the case in fifteen minutes (well...) I would have loved to have seen the faces of the judge and Cameron's lawyers as it was being read into evidence.

Anyway, this Stewart woman, and those who follow her, are clearly crackpots. I mean just Google "Ellison + Soldier + Terminator + Settlement" and watch the hits roll in.

But what about The Matrix (I jest).


Evolution

Mention evolution on a geek site and watch the emails pour in. Here are a couple of the many that I received...

From: Sean
Sent: Thursday, December 16, 2004 2:03 AM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Trailer Review: Blade Trinity re:evolution

I'm with you. "This guy has never had to evolve." is dumb enough that I'm surprised it didn't come from Bush (or was he one of the writers?).

*Of course* the original vampire hasn't evolved. Evolution happens over generations. An individual *can't* evolve. Mutate, maybe, perhaps even pass on a mutation, but...

I'm surprised more people didn't make this point.

And...

From: Craig
Sent: Wednesday, December 15, 2004 7:27 AM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: The joys of being pedantic

Yep, I'm pedantic and I bear no shame for it.

Jon writes in about evolution and comes to this conclusion:
" So while evolution has not necessarily been defined as perfecting a species, that's still basically what it is."

Well, no. Evolution makes plenty of mistakes, for one thing. Creatures don't automatically evolve in a "good" direction. Evolution doesn't make a species "better". Over a long period of time evolution tends to lead to creatures more able to survive in their environment, but to say that that is making them better is something of a stretch, never mind bringing in the word perfection.

Are humans "better" due to evolution? Well, that would depend on your definition of the word. Similarly for perfection. The conclusion that evolution makes a species better or moves a species towards perfection presupposes one particular, extremely narrow definition of the word perfection - ability to survive. Not to mention that the view that evolution is "for the good of the species" has long been considered not to be the case, despite the fact that it is still often taught at school level. I'm not a scholar of evolution or even biology, but as far as I know evolution at the individual level (and smaller) is now considered more likely to be what's going on.


That's all for this week!

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