Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just simply amazing.
My only guess on this one, is that this guy has seen The Matrix too many times...
Sent: Saturday, January 08, 2005 2:26 AM
I guess that they have found you. None of your connections worked! Won, won for yur wife!
The Feng Shui motherboard got somebody at this discussion board...
I'm trying to figure out how you connect to the PCI slots...
The last couple of Mailbags we've had some discussion about the origin of species and The Matrix. One reader wants to set us straight...
Sent: Wednesday, January 05, 2005 9:08 AM
Subject: plagiarism and evolution
The record needs to be set strait on on the plagiarism and evolution issues that keep popping up in the Mailbag. I had nothing to do with the Matrix or Terminator movies nor did I invent the Internet. I did however invent evolution. Charles Darwin may have discovered the process of evolution but the original idea was all mine. It was my idea alone to add some heat, light (all EM frequencies) and radiation to a primordial soup and see what would happen.
I have left well enough alone for long enough and it is now time for me to reassert control over my idea. Specifically the word Evolution® has been trademarked and a 5¢ fee must be paid for each and every usage of the word. I have also patented the process of Evolution®, any individual, or pair of individuals, who engage in this process (i.e. look for and attractive mate or attempt to produce a superior offspring) must pay a $1 licensing fee per act. In today's world intellectual property has value and I should be able to enjoy the fruits of my ideas.
I can always count on BBspotters for support. Here's a nice email I received right before my quadruple wisdom toothectomy...
Sent: Tuesday, January 04, 2005 10:56 AM
DON'T DO IT! Its more awful than you could imagine. Mine didn't quit bleeding for a few hours and I passed out at home. When I woke up, I was laying in a pool of blood. What fun!!! It hurt to talk, it hurt to laugh, I couldn't it. It really really sucked!
I posted some paid links before Christmas. A reader objected to one of them...
Sent: Thursday, December 23, 2004 7:48 AM
To: Brian Briggs
Subject: Lindsay Lohan
Oh my god! Sorry, but that link is just terrible. I understand that its paid for, and thus, you probably don't really like the page, but...
1. It's on AOL.
2. It's about Lindsay Lohan.
3. It's about Lindsay Lohan's music and she can't sing.
4. It's about Lindsay Lohan and it doesnt have any nude pictures of her.
Well, I'm gonna go check out her music videos. I actually like them a lot - now that I figured out how to get the most of them: Turn that damn sound off.
I'm sure I'll get plenty more like this when I post the Britney link.
That's all for this week!
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