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Monday, January 23 12:00 AM ET

Next Generation of Apple
Computers Will Run Windows

By Brian Briggs

Cuptertino, CA – Steve Jobs announced the next generation of Apple computers will run a specially branded version of Microsoft Windows.

"The move to Intel hardware really was the first step in bringing our computers into the mainstream. We knew if we wanted to continue our momentum that we needed to think different. With our move to Windows, we'll go from 5% of the market to nearly 98% overnight," said Jobs.

The new operating system codenamed OS Xp will be branded with the Apple logo and contain Apple alternatives to common Microsoft programs. For example, Windows Media Player will be replaced by iTunes. The user interface, however, will maintain the familiar look and feel of Windows.

Normally sycophantic Apple users were outraged by the news. "I use Apple because it's not mainstream. If they are going to just be another Windows box maker then I'll be forced to find another alternative to remain on the fringe of computing," said longtime Apple user Benjamin Kisner.

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Jobs also noted that Apple would begin using more beiges and grays in their box design. He said, "Really, who needs a colorful computer?"

Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer said he welcomed Apple to the dark side with open arms. "We knew they'd come around eventually." Then he laughed maniacally scaring several preschool children at the in-house daycare.

More Apple News

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