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Monday, February 12 12:00 PM ET

56K

By Francisco Rangel

(To the tune of "Bad Day " by Daniel Powter)

ADSL is your very best friend
But it's costing you more than you have to spend
Your ISP asks when you will pay
They cancel your service anyway
But you still need to carry on

You pay a cheap price, and you've hit a new low
Your modem's installed and you're ready to go
You plug it in your telephone line
It gets disconnected half the time
And you just see *NO CARRIER*

'Cause it's 56k
It's slowing you down
And Google takes hours just to show what it found
You play Counterstrike
You've got awful lag
Before you can move you've already been fragged
You go to YouTube
You need a good laugh
It's taken two months, and you've only got half
It's 56k
It's 56k

Your BitTorrent download's years away
You try to connect day after day
But you just see *NO CARRIER*

It's 56k
It's making you stressed
Your e-mail arrives slower than UPS
And at Amazon
Log in in July
If you wanna do Christmas shopping in time
At 56k
You're losing your mind
Your Windows Updates are a few months behind
It's 56k (oooh... 56k)

Your IM'ing is slow as a snail
Browsing websites takes too long
You need your broadband back and you know
That you can't even play online Pong
Or hear this song (yeah...)

The hackers lose interest when they ping your PC
It takes all night
You're surfing the web like it's still '93

'Cause it's 56k
So slow that you snore
A text file takes hours, and a GIF even more
You're 23 weeks
Behind on your blog
Your series of tubes has been fatally clogged
On 56k
Not much you can do
It's far from ideal, you're oh so screwed
It's 56k
It's 56k

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