BBspot


Archives
 
BBlog
Happy Thanksgiving and a BBeliever Daily Links - 11/10/11 Daily Links - 11/2/11
BBloopers
Fun at Sea
Football Fans
Great College
Top 11
Top 11 Things Geeks Would Do After Being Rescued from a Mine
PC Weenies
The Neverending Story
Gratuity Not Included
Uptime Downtime
Geek Horoscopes
Random Geek Horoscopes
Classics
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
The BBook of Geek
Recommended
Fark
[H]ard Folding Team
The Toque
Worth 1000
Joe the Peacock
PC Weenies
Mental Floss
Smashing Games
Free Codecs
SlushFactory
Geek Press
Wil Wheaton
Jonathan Coulton
I-Mockery
Um... Things
Jokes Gallery
Funny Pictures
More Links

Thursday, September 18 12:00 AM ET

Nigerian Billionaire Helps Rescue Failing Banks

By Brian Briggs

New York, NY – Nigerian philanthropic billionaire Esenam Ayele said that he would make $80 billion dollars available to US banks from his accounts in Nigeria.  All he needed to transfer the funds was a trusted associate at the bank. 

It couldn't come at a better time for Wall Street as the bankruptcy of Lehman Brothers, the sale of Merrill Lynch and government bailout of AIG has left markets tumbling with no bottom in site.  The guaranteed funds should bring some stability back to financial institutions.

Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson said Ayele could be trusted.  "I know he's had problems in the past with people believing him, but I assured the folks over at Washington Mutual that he was for real."

Ayele, who has returned to wealth with the rise in oil prices, said from his palace in Lagos, "I just need someone to fax me a copy of the transfer codes on some bank stationery, and I'll get the money right over."

He added that his widowed sister also had more funds she could transfer out of the country which she inherited from Prince Ugube of Tanzania.  "She just as helpful as I am, but she's unable to come to the United States because of a visa issue.  If somebody could just send her a cashier's check for $1000, she'll be able to clear everything up and transfer the funds."

Related News

Nigerian Billionaire Can't Give Away His Cash

Nigerian Philanthropist Powers Economy, Inspires

Spammers Send Message from Future

The American government would rather have private funds involved as to not create the appearance that taxpayers will rescue every bank from dumb mistakes.

"I'm glad I can be of service," said Ayele. "The American people have done so much for me.  I'm thankful to return the favor."

The Dow Jones Industrial Average was down 1,458 points on the news.

Story Options:
Related
Share
Print
Previous Story:

Game:Pirate Race
Next Story:

BBspot Mailbag

 
 
RSS Feed Subscribe
Follow on Twitter Follow Us on Twitter
Facebook Fan Us on Facebook
Google Buzz Follow Us on Buzz
Amazon Find the BBook

 

  Politics Contact FAQs
A
D

sharepoint survey web part - make money online

Copyright 1999-2011 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a tech satire news and geek humor source, and meant to be funny.
If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor, we suggest you go elsewhere. Those without the geek gene activated should also avoid this site.